Posts Tagged ‘Ramadhan’

If you weren’t there, then you must be a square, or half of a square which makes a big, fat “L” and you know what that means… LOSER!!!

Seriously though, all of my kids fasted this year, three of which are pre-teens. They excitedly prayed tarawih prayers either at the masjid or at home (masha’allah, tabarakallah alaihim) so we decided to cough up the cash (and I mean pneumonia, bubonic plague type coughs) to treat them to this event. It was pretty awesome. The night before, the kids thought they would get to stay up all night, not! Their plot was discovered and they were promptly sent to bed at midnight. The next day, we stayed up after fajr. Dressing and grooming took place and we loaded up the car for the 3 hour drive to six flags. Our itinerary went something like this:

  1. Very Long Car Ride: We slept, HB drove. He considers us all traitors for not even offering stimulating conversation while he drove for 3 hours.
  2. We arrived in Jackson, NJ and gave the kids a potty break at the nearest gas station. While we were there and HB was getting some much needed mud-in-a-cup, the strangest thing occurred. The trees started to dance wildly as the wind blew. Their limbs bobbed and swayed dramatically. TQ said “It looks like their saying Allahu Akbar.” It really did. As we looked up at the the overcast sky, you could see the clouds being pushed towards the horizon. Small patches of blue could be seen through the spaces between. Just then, several cars drove up, about 4. All were muslim families arriving before entering the park. We love to see other muslims and we took these as signs that it would be a joyful, fun filled day.
  3. Our first stop was a drive through the safari, which was awesome. We saw herds of antelope crossing the street, ostriches with beautiful feathers and giraffes licking peoples cars. We saw lots of cattle like animals that I don’t know the name of (HB kept making references to steak, hunting and knowing how to tie a buffalo to the roof of our car) Samurai boy kept screaming “Let’s go to the park now! I don’t want to see the stupid animals!” After about 20 or so screeches like this from the back seat with the same answer of “Be patient, little boy,” we hear “Excuse me, excuse me, Abu. Can we please go to the park now, hunh? Can we, hunh? Please?” More polite of course but still the same answer, sorry dude.
  4. We arrive at the park gates, only to be suprised to know that parking is an additional $15 dollars!! WHAT!?! That wasn’t on the brochure. We fork over the (extra) cash and walk the distance to the park. I guess $15 is for cheap in-the-boondocks parking, imagine what the good parking must have cost.
  5. It really was just as they said it would be. Nasheeds played over the park speakers. Islamic goods of all kinds were being vended and the kids tried to ride every ride in the park. The athan was called for every salat as the people gathered to perform the prayer in the open air. HB decided to be super-dad and take daredevil extraordinaire TQ on a rollercoaster. He thought he was getting on the Batman and ended up on the Nitro. When they returned, HB was ranting about cruelty and inhumane treatment, evil, satan and how he would never ride another ride again in life. TQ called him a sissy but he was too upset about the ride to admonish her about it.
  6. I feared that the younger kids would get lost somehow, but in actuality it was I who traversed the path of the misplaced. Yep, big, grown-up me. I was lost for about an hour, and after walking from one end of the park to the other (twice) I found my family and was ready to leave. We packed it up, got in the car and drove to the nearest rest area to sleep for an hour and a half. We he was too exhausted to drive so we all took a nap. Before falling into dreamland, HB and I and suprisingly TQ sat in the food court drinking coffee, tea and soda respectively. The mood was somber as we watched a portion of the Palin-Boldin (or whatever his name is) debates. HB and I kept exchanging tired looks that could be read as “tired of lying candidates, tired of politics and tired of a full day of entertaining the kids.” TQ summed it up very nicely by saying “That Palin lady and that other guy, what’s his name are both so annoying.” You said it sister! We finally got it back on the road and arrived safely and soundly at our house at approx. 3:30 in the AM.

May Allah subhana wa ta’ala except all of our fasts, forgive our sins and increase us in emaan with blessings and goodness in this life and the next…. ameen.


The conversation went like this (and I couldn’t make something like this up if I tried, I love it):

TQ: Are you coming to our iftar Jamilah?

JM: Ummmm, let me ask my Ummie. She says what are you all cooking?

TQ: We’re having soul food.

JM: What’s soul food, TQ? Ummie she said som kind of soul food.

TQ: You know black people food, african american people food?

JM: Hmmmm, let me look it up on Wikipedia.

(after actually looking soul food up on wikipedia)

JM: Wow, that sounds great, boy thats alot of food. We’ll be partying if we have all of that food…. Minus the prok of course, I’m sure we won’t be having that.

I love muslim teenagers (sometimes).

As Ramadhan winds down, my family seeks out the Night of Power. Laylatul Qadr is a special night that signifies our last chance during this special month to be forgiven and have our supplications answered. We stand in prayer in the late hours of the 9th, 7th, 5th, 3rd or last night of the last 10 nights, asking Allah to pardon us our loose tongues, flip lips, arrogant and boastful ways and our ingratitude to all the good Allah allows us in this world. We throw up a heartfelt plea for forgiveness and a lofty station in the next world, even though we know we don’t deserve it. Or as i tell my children, “If Allah gives you what you really deserve, this world would have ceased to exist millions of years ago.” It is only by His mercy that we get jannah, that we are blessed and guided. 

This month we fasted, we had family talks and classes about perfecting the salat and we prayed taraweeh in the masjid/qiyamul layl at home. We gave a few iftars and attended some others.

And my husband divorced my co-wife. She asked for the khul’a. He granted it.

I expect he will try to marry again, I am still recovering from the emotions of it all and wondering why it didn’t work after all of the effort and good intentions. Allahu Musta’an.


**Purify us with your presence** 

**Awaken our dulled senses** 

**Renew our vigor and strength** 

**Give us hope in the rewards to come** 

**Remember us on a day we will need your testimony** 

**Remember us to the one who will judge** 

**We patiently await your return**

Taqaballahu Mina Wa Minkum…

~~Khair Insha’allah and Family

This was not intended to be a Polygyny blog. But it seems like thats all I talk about lately. I guess it does kind of consume you. There is life outside of polygyny. So what else am I doing you ask?

1.  I got a job. I figured sitting around the house “waiting for my turn,” was a bit destructive for the mind so I got a job. I haven’t worked in about 7 or 8 years. But I figure I can soak my sorrows in frappucinos and shopping sprees and it will make me feel better. Newsflash…. Working sucks! I miss my kids, I am tired when I get home and the caffeine prevents me from sleeping.

2. I am doing this extremely cool class that a brother in NY posted on youtube. He is so energized! He has a class on arabic and another on tafseer qur’an. If you are an arabic addict like me, you will thoroughly enjoy it. Just go to and type in ABU TAUBAH. The bomb!

3.  Preparing for Ramadhan. This weekend, we will be going over fasting and the rulings pertaining to Ramadhan with the kids. I look forward to the iftars with my co-wife and doing things as a family. Despite the fitnah, I enjoy having the big family. I enjoy seeing all the kids play together. I enjoy seeing my husband make sure we both are doing well and have what we need. Oops, Polygyny again. I plan to, insha’allah…

  • Read the Qur’an more, (english and arabic).
  • De-stress, relax and increase my prayers.
  • make istighfar (seek forgiveness for my sins) daily or hourly if I can.
  • feed the people, this is an important aspect of Ramadhan few people take advantage of.

4. Getting ready for school. The kids go back next week. So much to do, still have to get last minute school supplies.

See I do have a life.  TQ and her siblings think I am going crazy. She reads my blog sometimes and she just shakes her head. She suggested we all get Ruqya done (it’s hard for her to understand the emotional ups and downs and changes). I don’t understand it either. But I’m getting the hang of it all I think.