I have no idea. Maybe I should start from the end and work my way back to the beginning… that sounds easier than anything else, I guess. So here goes. I am living in Cairo, Egypt now and I love it. Busy streets, people shuffling from one place to another. All the beautiful sounds of the city, blaring and beeping from sun-up to sundown. I used to dream that I would be here someday, walking these streets. Living this life. I didn’t know how it would ever come about, but it has and I am grateful. I lived for a short time overseas and I loved it so much, but I had to leave and I always desired to return to living amongst the muslims. After returning to the US, I became severely homesick. I was so depressed that, in the end, it started affecting my marriage and my friendships, even the interaction with my children. So, I prayed and prayed about it and finally my husband agreed to let me leave by myself. I figured maybe it would be easier for me to leave and he be in charge of getting everyone over. So we chose Egypt and needless to say it was an excellent choice. There are so many opportunities for study and empowerment here.
The downfall of it all was that a great big chasm grew between my husband and I. He didn’t understand how horrible I felt that we were still in the US. And part of me blamed his adventure in polygyny for our stagnation and damnation to be stuck in darul-kufr. He spent a lot of money that could have went towards our tickets and settling in overseas. I’m sorry but that’s how I felt; that the big “P” had thrown a monkey wrench in our plans. I soon got over it and alhamdulillah was able to see things clearer, but by then the damage was done. I realized a little too late that whatever was for me; was for me and no-one or nothing could prevent me from my qadr. Not money or lack thereof, or a co-wife or the lack thereof, or anyone’s bad feeling or evil wishes. I learned that silently blaming is just as bad as shouting it to the wind. So here I am and actually here we all are. May Allah bless us all and keep our feet firmly on his path, ameen. More later I guess….