I am doing this.
I am commited to it.
I will see it through, Insha’allah.
1. It’s the right thing to do. All of the reasons I can think of not to do polygyny are selfish. (who will tread upon the path that is steep?) I want him to myself. I don’t want to open up my life to a stranger. I like things how they used to be. All selfish. But what about giving comfort and security to my sister? Something that Allah has blessed me with. As if to say, once i was hungry and Allah blessed me with food and now I don’t want to share my plate.
2. I want this for my husband. He is a man’s man. And he enjoys striving and being responsible. This has been such a wake up call for him. It has shaken him out of his comfort zone. And he wants to do this fisibilillah. Our situation is not about nafs (desires) but about the needs of others. I pray that Allah will accept his effort and give him Jannah because of it.
3. I love my huband and my family. I don’t want my weaknesses to be the destroyer of it all. I have always been a runner. I run away from anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. To run now, would mean I am basically a chump. Running from the proverbial kitchen because the heat is unbearable.
4. I want this for myself. I want to prove my salt. I am not better than the Mother’s of the Believers (wives of the Prophet) I want to be rewarded for doing the hard work as well. I draw closer to Allah through this. and the focus is no longer on the passion of my marriage (although that is stronger than ever) but more on attaining the pleasure of Allah by not allowing the shaitan to win.
5. I want this for her. She is a good, generous and kind sister. She has had to rely upon herself and Allah for a long time, while maintaining her Islam. She has so many good qualities. How far am I from being in her shoes? And who would help me if the shoe were on someone else’s foot.
I am resolved.
I pray for success.
I’m taking off my gloves and I’m not running away, insha’allah.
Make du’a for us.