Why Here, Why Now…

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,


I just wanted to start out by saying barakallahu feekum for all the kind words and du’as I’ve received. I see them all and I am not replying on purpose because I have to get this off of my chest.  I don’t want to be distracted by the finer details or lengthy side explanations before I have just let it all out of my system. I’ve always been a private person, never discussing my private life, my marriage or what goes on with my family with others.  When I found this blog, I saw an opportunity to vent about those things that weighed heavily on my conscience, my struggles, my problems, without dishonoring my husband or my loved ones. 

I never had anyone I could discuss this issue with.  I always felt that people would be judgemental or look down on him for being flawed or me for being shallow and impatient. It has gone on too long and now  and I feel like shaitan has me confused.  I feel like the lone sheep left to the marauding wolf.  I feel safe here amongst anonymous friends.  Safe enough to bring things I feel to the light and get the perspective I need to move forward.  Like polygyny, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been through or is going through this.  Maybe my affair will give someone else the courage to face reality and get help.  I pray for the good and Allah’s guidance for us all.

Khayr Insha’allah


  1. rei says:

    how about polygyny, how do you feel about it?

  2. Mai says:

    As salaamu alaykum.

    I most certainly understand. We respond because we want you to know that there are sisters on this earth, many who have never seen you, who love and care about you. You go through your process…we are here whether you respond or not. Inshaa’Allah, this will be a monumental turning point in your life and your deen, once you have freed that heavy burden from yourself.

    Yes indeed, khayr inshaa’Allah.

  3. Anisa says:

    My husband also has these moods you mentioned. I am not sure if it is a similar thing. But in shaa allah I can learn something from your situation and how to deal with it. May Allah make things easy for you and soothe your heart
    A sister in doonya who cares.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s