Old Friends…

Posted: November 30, 2008 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

When I became muslim some 15 years ago, I found it difficult to maintain ties with old friends. Classmates, business colleagues, people who didn’t share my faith seemed to drift out to sea as I became more knowledgeable and serious about the practice of my religion. How did you bridge the gap? If you maintained your friendships, was it helpful in your islamic development or did it hinder it. Do you ever wish you had let those relationships go, or did you remain close over the years? Looking for feedback, please comment.

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Comments
  1. Safiyyah says:

    Salaams Sis:

    When I became a Muslim, the majority of my friends accepted and supported my decision. Some remain close today. Additionally, I have met many new non-Muslim people that I have become close to. But close to a point. Even with my husband. I like the following hadith. It is kind of a guide for me with relationships with people:

    The Prophet (saw) said: “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place…but whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.” (Tirmidhi)

    I find that some people enter my life for 5 seconds and some for decades. Even the Prophet (saw) had non-Muslim people in his life. But he kept his relationship with them in perspective, only focusing on his Lord. I don’t go out of my way to discourage relationships with non-Muslims. After all, it’s an opportunity to provide dawah. But if anyone, Muslim or non-Muslim, rocks my deen and imaan – then they’re out of my life. Works for me.

    Insha Allah this helps!

  2. dictatorprincess says:

    Salam alaikoum
    I kept some friends but it was hard if they didn’t “get it.” Strangely it was easier for me to stay friends with hardcore Christians than it was my atheist friends, Allahou Alim. I think it all depends onthe person. It is like Saffiyyah said, the perspective of the relationships changed.

  3. ummaslam says:

    As Salaamu Alaikum
    I have one non muslim friend that i’ve kept in touch with over the yrs When I first became muslim she was right there with me far as supporting my decision to become muslim more so than my family. How we’ve maintained our friendship is by not forcing each others beliefs on one another, even though I still give her dawah in suttle way. she is christian and I am muslim, we went to school together and sorta grew up together in the same neighborhood, we both grew up with a drug addicted parent her father and my mother, so our childhood was very similar. At one point we stopped speaking to each other over something very petty, her father was supposed to fix my car and he broke it more LOL 🙂 we laugh at it now alhumdulilah. We respect each other differences in beliefs and yet we still have many other things in common so we tend to focus more on the things we do have in common. So ummmm yeah thats how we’ve maintained our friendship.

  4. Nassir says:

    Assalaamu Alaikum

    When I embraced the deen, I felt it was necessary for me to cut off ties to my non-Muslim friends. I did not have very many friends, but I did have a few close ones. I stopped interacting with them for two reasons:

    (1) I felt that I needed to be with Muslims to strengthen my new deen and learn more. I thought that these old friends would hold me back or maybe sway me back the other way.

    (2) The things I used to do with my friends were unbecoming (to say the least) for a Muslim. That was the primary reason for breaking ties. If we weren’t doing illegal things, what else could we do? Our lives revolved around this.

    Looking back, it would have been beneficial to stay in touch. Most of them were extremely bright and could potentially have become Muslim had I stayed in touch. They could have seen my progression and change and seen it as something good. Now it has been almost five years, and I completely different. They wouldn’t really even know who I am anymore.

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