More on Friendship….

Someone fowarded this to me by email. I thought it was extremely relevant to my last post. It is truly an excellent article, masha’allah…

 Being Two-Faced

 

Reference: Rawdat al `Uqalaa: P. 49

Category: Sayings of the Salaf

Muhammad ibnul Hussain ibn Qutaybah in ‘Asqalaan informed me that Ibraheem al Hawraani…on the authority of Sahl who said that the Messenger of Allaah said:

“There is no good in a companion who does not observe the same rights towards you that you observe towards him.”

Abu Haatim, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:

It is compulsory for an intelligent individual who was blessed by Allaah to have love for a Muslim, to stay close/cling on to him. He should accustom himself to stay in contact with him if he cuts him off, to turn towards him if he turns away, to give him if he withholds, to draw close to him if he distances himself, to the point that he is like a pillar in his life. It is from the greatest of faults for a person to be two faced in his affection.

Al Muntasir ibn Bilaal al Ansaaree recited (this poem) to me:

How many a friend displays affection with his tongue,

but is deceitful in my absence and is not regretful.

He unwillingly amuses me so I may love him,

but his words in my absence strike me like arrows.

…

Abu Haatim said:

The intelligent individual is not deficient in his affection, he does not have two faces or two hearts. Rather, what he conceals is identical to what he reveals, his actions are in accordance to his speech. There is no good in two companions where deficiency grows between them, and their state increases in corruption, as ‘Abdul ‘Azeez ibn Sulaimaan al Abrash recited to me:

May Allaah revile one whom having affection towards is of no use,

and one whose rope/aid is feeble, when extended.

And one who is of two colors [two-faced], he is not consistent,

upon keeping ties, a betrayer of everyone trustworthy.

And one who has two hearts, getting together with him,

is enjoyable, but when absent he is untrustworthy.

And one whom if his eyes were to speak,

the paths of all companionships would be cut off by them.

…

‘Amru ibn Muhammad an Nasaa-ee recited to me:

The eye reveals what is within the soul,

of hatred or love if present.

Indeed one who harbors hatred has an eye [look] which is apparent,

unable to conceal by it what lies within his heart.

The eye speaks even though the mouth moves not,

to the point where you would see clearly what lies in the heart.

…

‘Alee ibn Muhammad al Basaamee recited to me:

A neighbor that you keep visiting,

Qawraas you do not sleep or let sleep.

Close to home, distant in affection

, it refuses to be consistent.

He rushes to extend the Salaam when we meet,

but underneath his ribs lies a diseased heart.

…

I heard Muhammad ibn al Mundhir say: I heard ‘Abdul ‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdilaah say: Muhammad ibn Haazim said:

There are brothers who are always displaying smiles,

and brothers: ‘Hayaak Allaah’ and ‘Marhaba (welcome)’.

And brothers: ‘How are you and how’s your family.’,

but all this does not hold the weight of a grain of sand.

Extremely generous when you are not in need of his wealth,

he says i can loan you if you need of a load.

But if you tried to reach what is behind him,

you would find that his wealth is further from you than you thought.

…

Abu Haatim, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:

The intelligent one does not befriend one who is two-faced, or one who has two hearts. He does not reveal anymore affection that what he conceals, and he does not conceal any less love than what he reveals. He should not be, when the need arises, any different than he were before it arose or before getting involved, because friendships that are unlike this are not praiseworthy. A man from Khuzaa’ah recited to Muhammad ibn Khalaf at Taymee, who recited to Muhammad ibnul Mundhir, who recited to me:

My brother is not the one who shows his love for me verbally,

but by brother is he who shows love for me during hardships.

He whose wealth is mine if I had none,

as my wealth is his if he were in need

So do not praise a friend during times of ease,

for he may forfeit his friendship during hardships.

He is only: ‘How are you’, and ‘welcome.

but with his wealth is as evasive as a fox

…

Abu Haatim, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:

From the greatest of signs in knowing a persons affection…

 

To be continued…

Translator: Nadir Ahmad, Abu Abdul-Waahid