Views on Polygyny….

Posted: March 19, 2008 in Uncategorized
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This is taken from a comment I made over here

…This coming from a woman who is in agreement with polygyny. I fell in love with my husband in only a way that Allah can produce. We did not know each other at first but were married in a traditional, islamic way. I would love to be my husbands one and only but because of my love for him I agreed to allow him to marry again. Out of his love for me, he agreed not to do this until we both were prepared for it emotionally and financially. Meaning that there were no problems between us and we both were ready to support one another through it. When you love someone, you support them in what they want to do, even if he thought that not being with me was best for him, I would not want to be the cause of his pain.

Unfortunately, us woman veiw our men in a sense of ownership. You are mine! We do not value the works that our men do in maintenance and kind treatment, we want blood. Denying our men polygyny is more than not sharing the marital bed, it’s saying I want you to immortalize in my own mind that I am your everything, there will be no challenge to my beauty, intelligence, skills or rank in this marriage, you only have eyes for me.

It is the man’s nature to be polygynous. It is a challenge for him to juggle the responsibilities of more than one household, more than one relationship. Kinda like being a CEO. If you are good at business, why only own one. Or a gardener, he tills his soil and plants the seed and admires his yield, why plant only one variety? Does the love of roses diminish ones love of daisies?

Love is a two-way street and lovers must meet somewhere in the middle.

  1. Miss Muslimah says:

    Assalaamu alaikum

    Polygny is not for everyone.Just because a brother wants another wife doesnt mean that he should be able to have another wife;he may not be able to handle it.
    The idea that men have no self control is ridiculous to me.You might as well equate them with animals……
    I guess men will continue to use and abuse this sunnah as long as women continue saying and believing that its in their nature.

  2. Raazia Sabera says:

    thank you you for your blog… may Allah grant us with the true understanding put into practice what you’ve said here…

    dear miss muslimah, what do you have to say about the endless number of illegal affairs that one hears about married men…that my dear friend is the animal bit…. but when two people make Allah their witness no matter if its the first marraige or the third, they do what is correct in the eyes of Allah… One who is All-wise and Who in reality cares about each one of us more than we can ever imagine… so if you think that Allah would let men do some thing which is unfair and shallow to the women, then you are actually demeaning Allah himself..May Allah guide us all

  3. tabarakallah says:

    It is definetly our human shortcomings that makes us deal unjustly with anyone. Polygyny should not be blamed nor Islam. Allah says that marriage is half of your deen and polygynous marriage is definetly not for the faint of heart.

  4. Raazia,You have alot of nerve trying to insult me,and yes ive taken it as an insult,that im demeaning allah himself…who are YOU to say that about me? I stated my opinion based on what ive seen and heard,and that is all…

  5. Safiyyah says:

    As Salaamu Alaikum Sister Raazia:

    There is a difference between “endless illegal affairs” and plural marriage.

    Unless you are talking about serial polygny which is not what Allah (swt) intended. Serial p is the same as endless illegal affairs.

    It’s all about intention in Islam.

    If a brother wants more than one wife, he should stay with them and try and build a life that is happy and pleases Allah (swt). He shouldn’t go from wife to wife to wife – because he has needs and that is his nature. Unfortunately, this is what many brothers do.

    And to accuse/suggest that another Muslim sister demeans Allah (swt) – sister: you need to fear Allah! That’s pretty strong! Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, in which case you may want to apologize to Sister Miss Muslimah.

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