Posted: March 18, 2008 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I am trying not to get depressed, to not give up hope. I keep telling myself that Allah is sufficient, but the shaitan whispers to me that maybe my sins will prevent my prayers from being answered. But I have faith in Allah that he wll relieve me of my stress and give me what I ask. Or even better than that. I lived in a muslim country for 3 years and it became my home. I was very content there, spoiled by the public calls of prayer and the unabated, uncompromising wearers of hijab. I had begun to learn arabic language, my children were happy and at peace. Now I don’t know why I left. I know my reasons were important at the time. I assumed that what I had to do would take months. It’s going on close to a year now.

When I first came back here to america, I was culture shocked. The fast pace, the rudeness, the consumerism. I felt so strange. My kids asked me every week when were we leaving. I always thought that they missed here, missed the burgers, walmart, toys-r-us, ect. But surprisingly they were disgusted by the lack of what we all miss… Islam.

Ana sa arja’u qareeban insha’allah.

  1. KiKi says:

    There are some good places to live… pockets, very tiny, but good nonetheless. I understand what you mean though – it is definitely culture shock!

    It’s so nice to have the deen in the mainstream.

  2. safraz says:

    I lived in Pakistan for five years and I too got the call to prayer right through my window every day. It took me 2 years before I finally gave into it but when I did it opened a new dimension to my character
    I missed the UK so bad before I turned to Islam
    I have come back now and despite the ruins the country is in, it beckons me ever so much every day
    Stick with it and eventually it will become a part of you. Its easy to say but trust me – it takes time.
    The years of western society takes years to remove and if it was so easy you would never have gone. You was looking for a sacrifice and you did it. Don’t look for an easy way out as there is none – Keep your chin up for your family at least and when you die you will know if it was worth it

  3. […] desired to return to living amongst the muslims.  After returning to the US, I became severely homesick.  I was so depressed that, in the end, it started affecting my marriage and my friendships, even […]

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