I am trying not to get depressed, to not give up hope. I keep telling myself that Allah is sufficient, but the shaitan whispers to me that maybe my sins will prevent my prayers from being answered. But I have faith in Allah that he wll relieve me of my stress and give me what I ask. Or even better than that. I lived in a muslim country for 3 years and it became my home. I was very content there, spoiled by the public calls of prayer and the unabated, uncompromising wearers of hijab. I had begun to learn arabic language, my children were happy and at peace. Now I don’t know why I left. I know my reasons were important at the time. I assumed that what I had to do would take months. It’s going on close to a year now.
When I first came back here to america, I was culture shocked. The fast pace, the rudeness, the consumerism. I felt so strange. My kids asked me every week when were we leaving. I always thought that they missed here, missed the burgers, walmart, toys-r-us, ect. But surprisingly they were disgusted by the lack of what we all miss… Islam.
Ana sa arja’u qareeban insha’allah.